Why You’re Not Addicted—You’re Avoiding Pain
By Mark Odland, MA, LMFT (based on conversation with Zack Carter, Counselor and Coach)
Based on Episode 7 of the Lion Counseling Podcast
Addiction Is Not the Enemy. It’s a Symptom.
Whether it’s alcohol, porn, weed, food, or social media—most guys we work with aren’t just trying to break a habit. They’re trying to numb something. Something old. Something painful. Something unhealed.
At Lion Counseling, we help high-achieving Christian men overcome addiction by getting to the root of their struggle—not just managing symptoms.
The Morphine vs. The Bullet
We use this analogy often:
The addiction is the morphine.
It’s what takes the edge off. It helps you survive the day.
But morphine doesn’t heal the wound. It just masks the bullet.
If you want lasting change, you need to go after the bullet. That’s where real healing starts.
The Three W’s of Relapse
If you’re struggling with sobriety, tracking the “Three W’s” is a game-changer:
- What happened before you relapsed?
- Where were you (physically and emotionally)?
- Who were you with—or avoiding?
This isn’t about guilt. It’s about patterns. Once you know your pattern, you can change it.
Addiction Is a Map—Not a Moral Failure
Most men are harder on themselves than they need to be. Addiction isn’t about weakness—it’s about woundedness. The wound came first. The addiction followed.
God doesn’t condemn you for being hurt. He invites you to heal.
What Are You Really Craving?
Behind every addiction is a core emotional need. Here are a few we see often:
- Validation
- Comfort
- Control
- Escape
- Intimacy
- Relief from shame
If you only fight the behavior, you’ll stay stuck. But if you identify the emotional driver behind it, you can start to meet that need in healthier ways.
Why Willpower Alone Isn’t Enough
White-knuckling your way through addiction might work short-term—but it doesn’t last. Long-term sobriety requires:
- Awareness – What emotions are you avoiding?
- Strategy – What’s your plan for high-risk moments?
- Support – Who’s walking with you in this?
- Healing – What wound still needs to be addressed?
How EMDR and CBT Can Help
We use both Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and EMDR Therapy to help men:
- Challenge distorted thinking
- Break the shame cycle
- Heal emotional trauma
- Rewire automatic triggers
You’re Not Alone—You’re a Work in Progress
Jesus didn’t avoid the broken. He sought them out. He touched them. He healed them. And He still does.
Your story isn’t over. You’re not beyond help. And you don’t have to carry this alone.
Schedule a free consult and let’s talk about your next step toward freedom and healing.
Final Encouragement
Addiction is not your identity. It’s just a part of your story—a chapter that can be rewritten with faith, courage, and the right tools.
You’re not weak. You’re a man healing from pain. And healing is always possible.
More Resources:
