Motivation for Men: Why You Feel Stuck and How to Get Moving Again

By Mark Odland – MA, LMFT, MDIV, Certified EMDR Therapist

A conversation with Zack Carter – MS, Counselor and Coach as featured on the Lion Counseling Podcast

Why Men Lose Motivation

Imagine you’re successful in business but feel stuck at home. You’re stressed. Your relationship is suffering. You’re burned out. And you’re skeptical of therapy. If this sounds like you—or someone you know—you’re not alone.

At Lion Counseling, we hear this story every day. Motivation issues don’t just show up out of nowhere. They have roots—emotional, psychological, and practical.

What is Motivation Really?

Let’s start with something unexpected: emotion drives motion. Literally. Motivation isn’t just about mindset or discipline. It’s about emotions like anxiety and sadness that either accelerate or decelerate our behavior.

Why Emotion Matters

  • Sadness = slows you down to reflect and recover
  • Anxiety = speeds you up to act and avoid pain

Biologically, emotions sit between the brain stem and logic center. Ignoring them is like ignoring your engine warning light because you prefer the steering wheel.

Are Emotions Weak?

Not even close. As Mark shared, “Thank God for fear.” Without it, our ancestors would’ve been sabertooth tiger snacks.

At Lion Counseling, we affirm masculine strengths like logic and problem-solving. But we also help men master—not suppress—their emotions. Because unchecked, they’ll eventually catch up to you… or take you down.

3 Steps to Build Motivation

1. Understand the Role of Emotion

Motivation starts with recognizing what’s happening inside your body. Emotions are energy—they can serve you or sabotage you. Your job? Learn how to harness them.

2. Align Goals with Core Values

External motivation (e.g., podcasts, pressure, Instagram reels) has its limits. Internal motivation is stronger. That comes from your core values.

For example, Zack hates working out alone. But he values connection. So he schedules gym time with friends. Result? He actually goes. What are your core values?

➡️ Try this tool: James Clear’s Core Values List

3. Overcome All-or-Nothing Thinking

Perfectionism kills motivation. If you think “I must work out an hour or it doesn’t count,” you’re stuck. Instead, start stupid easy. One client’s goal? Just walk into the gym and leave. Next thing you know, he stayed and crushed a workout.

Bonus Insight: EMDR and Motivation

Sometimes the block isn’t logical—it’s emotional trauma. That’s where EMDR therapy comes in. It helps men heal the root of their self-sabotage, especially when old memories or beliefs whisper lies like “I’m a failure” or “I’m not good enough.”

EMDR identifies emotional triggers, reprocesses them, and helps you stop reacting based on outdated wiring. Learn more about EMDR Therapy in Minnesota.

Common Questions

What if I feel successful at work but disconnected at home?

You’re not alone. Many high-achieving men are confident in business but feel unmotivated relationally. Motivation can vary by domain—and often, shame or past wounds hold us back in more vulnerable spaces like marriage and fatherhood.

Is motivation really emotional?

Yes. Your nervous system decides what feels safe or threatening. Emotion kicks off the cascade that leads to action—or avoidance. Want to change behavior? Start with how your body and brain interpret your experiences.

Isn’t this just psycho mumbo jumbo?

Nope. It’s neuroscience. Emotions activate systems of survival, connection, and performance. We don’t make you cry on a couch. We help you get unstuck and win the battles that matter most.

Final Thoughts

Whether you need practical strategies or want to dig deep into healing, Lion Counseling offers personalized coaching and therapy for men. Don’t let burnout, stress, or shame keep you from leading a purposeful life.

Ready to talk? Schedule your free Zoom or phone consult today.

More Resources:

Share This Story, Choose Your Platform!